god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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