so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I have feelings that need drinking.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
