Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
