We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
