it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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