you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
