He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
