that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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