All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
That accounts for only three of the penises
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
