Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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