it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
