Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
