maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I need a burrito and a hug.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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