what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
