woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
