WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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