I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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