Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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