The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
