it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
