she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
