drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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