So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
