So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
