his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
