Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
