a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
