Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
well you can't waste a boner
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Randomize
