she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
