So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
