Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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