wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
