I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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