No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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