I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
