that's an acceptable place to lick
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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