Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
