We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
accomplished twins. life is a go
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
