the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
