Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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