Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Of course I have a pirate flag
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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