you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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