What a fucking waste of an outfit
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
