found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
