She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
