Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
