I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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