i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
How's work?
Spinning.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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