WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
