Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
