ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
