There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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